Awakening your Explorer Type
A year ago, I found myself climbing the bell tower, inching along the roof’s edge to take in a sunset stretching across the sky over Munich when, just hours before, I’d packed school lunches and did the drop-off routine. A friend had extended their hand to join them for “48 hours in Munich,” I hesitated, then leaned in. The sharp contrast between where I was in the morning and where I was at sundown hit me: how quickly life could shift from the familiar to the delight of the unknown.
In Atomic Habits, James Clear says, "Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behaviour." And how true that is. The sheer act of stepping out of my everyday life into a new environment opened doors I didn’t even realize were closed. This trip awakened in me what Dr. John Gottman calls "The Explorer," one of the seven emotional command centers of the brain. Each command centre coordinates our emotional behaviour and physical responses to survival. The Explorer, particularly, taps into our drive for curiosity, learning, goal-setting, and adventure. The other six Command Centres are:
Jester: play and fun
Sensualist: attraction and lust
Nest-Builder: affiliation, friendship, care, and nurturing
Commander-in-Chief: dominance, control, and power
Explorer: searching, learning, and goal-setting
Energy Czar: getting rest, finding food, and staying healthy
Sentry: vigilance, avoiding danger
But here's the thing about the Explorer: it often lies dormant under the weight of routines, to-do lists, and societal norms that convince us adventure is a luxury, not a necessity—that weekend reminded me of how essential it is to keep that side of ourselves alive, not just for fun but because curiosity is a vital part of how we move through life. When we explore, we become more attuned to the world, and in that moment, we become more attuned to ourselves.
In my work with relationships, novelty—introducing new experiences—plays a crucial role in keeping the spark alive. Whether in our personal growth, relationships, or even our careers, we thrive on moments that break the pattern. Novelty keeps us alert, focused, and engaged, offering the tension to push past our comfort zones and reignite passion. That tension is the very essence of growth and transformation. It's what keeps relationships fresh, careers inspiring, and even our intimate sex lives filled with discovery.
For me, travel is one of the ways to foster this curiosity. It’s not just about seeing a new place; it’s about becoming immersed in the people, the stories, and the lived experiences that shape those places. One of those moments was our visit to Dachau. It's impossible to visit a place like that and not be changed. In the stillness, you can almost hear the world whisper its secrets. It’s in those quiet spaces that the Explorer finds meaning in the chaos. Exploration isn’t always about chasing excitement—it’s about being present enough to hear the lessons.
When we left Munich, I felt re-inspired. The Explorer in me had been revitalized, and with it came a new perspective, not just on the city but on my life. It reminds us that the Explorer is always there, waiting for an invitation to enter the unknown. Sometimes, it just takes someone grabbing you by the arm and saying, "Let’s go." It doesn’t have to be somewhere far; it could be just out your back door
So, how do we encourage the Explorer in ourselves? It starts with permitting ourselves to explore. Travel if you can, but also explore in the everyday moments—try new hobbies, dive into books that challenge your worldview, and connect with people who push you to think differently. And remember that it’s not just about the places you go but how you choose to move through life with curiosity and wonder.
The Explorer is not just about travel or thrills; it’s about searching, learning, and setting goals. It’s the part of us that seeks meaning in grand adventures and quiet moments. When we awaken that part of our brain, we tap into a boundless reservoir of creativity, passion, and growth. And once you tap into that, there's no limit to what you can experience or how you can grow.
