The Rhythm of Resilience: Knowing When to Push and When to Pull Back
This past week felt like a return to normal. I felt strong, back in the rhythm.
Then Sunday morning hit. I made waffles for the kids, and we ate together before they scattered off to friends and swimming. I was back in bed within an hour. I couldn’t keep my head up. My body, so steady all week, suddenly quivered under the weight of recovery.
For a moment, doubt crept in. Had I lost my stride? Was I moving backward? Would I need to let go of my training?
The Arousal Response: Finding the Sweet Spot
Becoming a top performer—in sports, work, and even as a parent—is about learning how to manage your arousal response—the nervous system's way of gearing up or slowing us down in response to stress or challenge. We need enough activation to stay focused and perform but not so much that we burn out or freeze under pressure.
Think of an archer pulling back a bow. Pull too little, and the arrow won’t fly far enough. Pull too much, and the bowstring could snap. The same is true in our performance—whether it’s a tough workout, a high-stakes meeting, or parenting through exhaustion.
Our bodies and minds thrive when we balance effort with recovery and tension with release.
Adaptability: Regulating the Nervous System
Our nervous system adapts to the loads we place on it. But if we constantly push harder, demanding more, we can override the signals that tell us when to pull back.
This is where nervous system regulation occurs—learning to shift gears when we’ve gone too far. Two powerful tools that help us recalibrate:
Belly Breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing)
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
These aren’t just recovery tools. They’re performance enhancers, sharpening focus, control, and endurance—whether you’re running a race, negotiating a deal, or showing up fully for your family.
Tool 1: Belly Breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing)
A powerful reset for the nervous system, diaphragmatic breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, shifting us out of fight-or-flight mode and into a state of calm and readiness.
I use belly breathing in Pilates to build deep core strength, at the start line of races to steady my nerves, and in everyday life when I need to refocus.
Tool 2: Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is a secret weapon for walking into a boardroom, stepping on stage, or even standing at the start line of a sprint. If you watch elite sprinters before a race, you’ll see them clench and release their fists, roll their shoulders, or shake out their legs—this is PMR in action.
It works by cycling between tension and release, helping your body recognize the difference between unnecessary tension and the energy you need.
You don't need more tension in a high-stress moment—whether it’s a presentation or a race—you need the right kind of activation. PMR dials in that balance.
Build Resilience Without Burning Out
Listen to the Signs. Fatigue, irritation (my kids are great at calling me out on this), and sluggishness aren’t failures. They’re signals.
Trust the Process. Recovery isn’t a setback; it’s part of growth.
Adjust, Don’t Quit. Lightening the load for a day or two will propel you further.
In my workouts, I schedule rest days and learned that as an entrepreneur, I need scheduled “draw-back days” to allow my mind to rest and reset, not push. It would be easy for me to work on the business 7 days a week to meet the pace of growth. But I’m learning the power of rest.
Because in all pursuits—whether on the track, in business, or at home—the pull matters. And so does the release.
