ATTACHMENT STYLES

Secure Attachment Style

With secure attachment, children feel safe exploring their world because they know they can count on their caregiver when needed. This dependable support helps them feel secure, confident, and trusting as they grow up.

In adulthood, secure attachment looks like:

- Feeling comfortable asking others for help or support.

- Trusting that people will be there when needed.

- Not worrying much about being abandoned or left behind.

- Finding it easy to get close to others and build connections.

- Being okay with others depending on you, too.

Securely attached people communicate well, support their partners, and feel safe and stable.

Anxious Attachment Style

Anxious attachment happens when a child’s caregiver is inconsistent—they might be there sometimes, but other times not. This makes the child unsure if they can depend on the caregiver, leaving them feeling clingy, insecure, and anxious.

In adulthood, anxious attachment might show up as:

- Frequently worrying about your relationships.

- Wanting closeness and intimacy but also fearing rejection or being left.

- Becoming clingy or needy if your partner is unavailable or not responsive.

- Constantly needing reassurance from your partner.

- Feeling jealous when your partner interacts with others.

- Struggling to express what you need or feel in relationships.

In short, people with an anxious attachment style tend to want closeness but worry a lot about losing it, which can lead to insecurities, intense emotions, and self-doubt in relationships.

Avoidant Attachment Style

Avoidant attachment comes from a pattern where a child learns they can’t rely on their caregiver because their needs aren’t met. This causes the child to avoid relying on others, often leading them to suppress their emotions and act self-sufficient.

In adulthood, avoidant might look like:

- Feeling uncomfortable depending on others or allowing others to depend on you.

- Thinking people often let you down when you need them.

- Finding it hard to trust others fully.

- Feeling uneasy with closeness or intimacy.

- Feeling like partners often want more closeness than you’re comfortable with.

People with an avoidant attachment style may prioritize independence and avoid emotional closeness, which can make it difficult to form deep relationships or express emotions openly.

Knowing your attachment style can help you understand your habits and reactions in relationships, which is a great first step toward building stronger connections.